Ordering a pizza in 2020

Yesterday I had misfortune of ordering a pizza. Now, ordering a pizza in 2020 is no easy feat and turned out to be a problem too difficult for even me to solve. I ended up settling on my local subway.

First attempt

I made my selection between the 28 different takeout startups, settling on Postmates as I had used it once before. This time, every restaurant showed up as unavailable and ordering was not possible. No problem, I’ll just order somewhere else!

Second attempt

Next I tried ordering directly from blaze-pizza’s website. After painstakingly typing in my address into some maps-feature which insisted my address didn’t exist, I got to create my order.

Creating my order

Having been to the pizza place from which I was ordering, I know very well the ingredients I wanted on my pizza. Only one problem. The online list didn’t have half the ingredients listed. I figured I could live without vegan chicken and seasonal veggies.

Now I had received a offer in the mail which I was eager to make use of. Pretty simple: order a large pizza, get one free.

Unfortunately, after creating an order for a large pizza, typing in the code yielded an error message stating I needed to add a large pizza for the coupon to be valid. I quickly gave up trying to cash in my coupon, after all I was pretty darn hungry at this point and just wanted to eat.

Finally I needed to type in my credit card information. Being a Danish citizen in America, I typed in my Danish credit card. The form informed me my zip-code was invalid. It certainly wasn’t, it was just not American!

Luckily I have a card issued by transferwise, maybe the form will accept this cards zip code! Only one thing, the card was empty and I needed to add funds.

First derailment

To add funds onto transferwise, you must use their app. Now I had recently changed telephone, so I needed to install the app. To do so they send an SMS that you must type in for verification. After waiting 20 seconds for the SMS to arrive I logged in.

Second derailment

Trying to add $500, with my danish card I was greeted with my banks SMS verification feature. When pressing the the text field to type in my verification code the entire page would turn blank. Luckily the virtual keyboard was still present so I typed in the verification code in blind. Success!

Wait, never mind.

Third derailment

A notification let me know $500 was too much to be transferred with a credit card. I repeated the broken sms verification. Finally, success!

Third attempt

Armed with a transferwise card now with $200 on it, I could go back to what I originally set out to do, namely order my pizza. I typed in the credit card information to blaze pizza’s website. A loading screen appeared. anxiously awaiting my order to go through, A notification popped up “Card declined”. I looked at the transferwise app, from where I could see the pizza transaction stating that it was ‘awaiting confirmation’ from the vendor.

Admitting defeat

By now I was out of credit cards, and still nowhere closer to actually completing my order. I guess ordering a pizza is just too difficult a problem for us to solve. The technology simply isn’t there yet. Maybe in 2030 we’ll get there.

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